Here's what I mean. You're a writer, a solitary soul, bad posture, wild hair, nervous ticks. Sexy stuff but stressful. So you need to have fun. You just strung together the hugest domino chain there is: a book. Reader opens the book, first domino falls, you hope to gods that by the time the last one tips there'll be a perfect domino representation of the Sistine Chapel.
So what to do? First rule of Write Club (note: you are going to run across this Chuck reference a billion times as you seek out new writes and new interpretations; go with it) is Don't Take Yourself & Your Words As Seriously As You Think Others Should. You are not your mama. You are not an anachronistic genius writing with a quill. You are not ever going to write a passage so brilliant and funny that Rosario Dawson, Idris Elba, and Gina Torres grant you an hour in their presence with lax morals.
So write yourself something like this:
Literary Agents: Are you able to take a satire on urban publishing featuring pretty much nothing but black folks and turn it into a movie deal starring Vince Vaughn? If so, you are the agent for me.
If you’re willing to swat a sandwich out of a fat man’s hands, you are the agent for me!
Are you a motivated self starter with a proven track record of success? Have you blessed holy, unpublishable crap with the gift of PR and publication?
Do you thrive at making sure grown-ass people who might otherwise be considered adults keep track of dates?
Hi, I’m Clarence Young, writer of NEON LIGHTS, the funniest urban, chick lit, literary street fest the world is ever likely to produce.
If you answered “Yes!” to any of these or even shrugged your shoulders in an “Eh, why not?” fashion, the NEON LIGHTS team is ready for you! Send a note to cyoungbooks_at_aol_dot_com stating that signing this book just might rekindle your marriage and YOU just might be the next sexy agent featured in Poets & Writers magazine as one to watch! Email now!
*Note: exclamation marks not proof of book’s implied or impending success; Equal Opportunity Writer*
Knowledge of howlingly existential states (life, not Iowa) that force us to laugh at God a plus.
Agents-slash-insurance salespersons need not apply.
Then you pick up that quill and get to it again. Write it, dammit. Slasher-movie it (otherwise known as editing). Send that sucker out. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Soaping up can be a huge source of fun.
ZZC wishes he’d grown up with the powers of either Gary Mitchell or Charlie X but without the Kirk confrontations. Anybody not getting that Star Trek reference gets their sci fi cred docked 3 points.